Pepto-Bismol

I admit it. I’m addicted to old movies. Really old movies.

I love silent films. I’m fascinated by those stars who never made the transition to sound. John Gilbert. Theda Bara. The list goes on. And though I regularly support the San Francisco Silent Film Festival, I don’t always go. But I always want to.

I also love the early talkies. There’s something magical about the films of the 1930s and 1940s. The artistry is amazing. The camera work, the story lines, and the actors. But like everything in life, even movies made during the Golden Age of Hollywood can be stinkers. Bad directors, bad scripts, and bad casting. Just bad movies.

And then there’s the unusual enunciation of one key word.

Affected?

Some of the dialogue can be a bit much. Dated perhaps—or just overly dramatic. For instance, the word darling pops up an awful lot in love scenes. It’s kind of standard. My grandmother used to call me darling. But, there was never any romantic intent. At least, I don’t think so.

I have one friend who uses darling.  It’s a cue that a nasty zinger is about to be hurled your way. If you wear a bathing suit in his presence you might hear, “But darling, I thought you worked out.” Ouch. He’s truly a laugh riot, but you need to have a sense of humor. Fortunately, I do.

I’ve been deaf in my left ear since I was two-years old. Pneumonia. Dead nerve. Nothing they could do. At least until cochlear implants came along. But honestly, I’m not interested in the procedure.

Change Adverse

While everyone wants the latest and greatest — I’m bemoaning the loss of the familiar. Now there are some things I don’t miss. Black and white television. The flip phone. TV dinners (okay — I might actually miss those — but have you checked the salt content?). And, I don’t miss the hearing I never really had.

Growing Up

The New York City school system required me to have my hearing tested each year. I’d sit in a sound proof booth as the audiologist turned up the volume to a roar. I couldn’t hear a thing but I did feel the pressure on my ear drum. That’s when I’d raise my hand and they’d stop.

And because I had years of lip reading classes and no discernible speech challenges, people didn’t remember that I had a handicap. Teachers walked about the room during spelling tests. It was impossible for me to hear them. So, I learned the week’s words … memorized the list … and filled in at the end of the test … those words I missed hearing.

You Overcompensate

Throughout my business career, I suffered through round conference tables. I learned early on that it was always best to be upfront. I’d turn to the person to my left and quickly explain that I couldn’t hear on that side. Invariably, that person would engage me in a long discussion. Very awkward. Or they would ask for the salt. A lot of people on my left always seemed to want the salt.

And then there were the people who thought I was unfriendly. That happened a lot. Hey, we all have our moments, but in a large room with lots of background noise, I was never going to hear you. Close friends know that. Now, so do you.

Seriously. Complaining is an awful behavior. Especially when it’s done without regard to the listener.

Complaining to someone who is financially strapped about the problems you’re having scheduling that European trip — is at best — rude. Crabbing about the service at a restaurant when the poor waiter is rushing about like a madman — insensitive. Grousing about Washington, D.C. — well — that’s just the norm. But complaining for the sake of hearing your own voice — now that’s a problem.

Not You Again

No one wants to listen to a lot of whining about nothing. Certainly not in my house. Or so I’ve been told on more than one occasion. Okay, maybe twenty times. After that, I stopped counting. And that was back in 1991.

My updates — as I like to call them — tend to focus on how I’m feeling. I’m acutely aware of every little ache or pain. Not that they’re major. They’re not. But I like to keep Jeff updated. Just in case something does happen — he should have the necessary information for the EMTs.

Family Hold Back

I’ve learned through the years to shield my friends. Right now some are rolling their eyes and laughing — but don’t believe them. The real updating has been heaped squarely on Jeff’s shoulders. Mostly in the morning. Usually when he’s checking his iPhone. Or does he start checking his phone when I start updating? Hmm. It’s kind of hard to know.