Say, I Do!

There’s nothing like a family wedding to bring out the need to raid one’s closet for appropriate attire. In our house, we’re a casual duo. Jeans without sneakers is a dressy night out. So, you can imagine the activity when a wedding invitation arrived that requested formal attire. We immediately Googled to find out what that meant for men. Do we have to wear tuxedos? Oh, good. Dark suits would suffice. But wait. The last time I wore a dark suit was in 2019 when I attended my nephew’s wedding. And that suit wasn’t new then. Fortunately, men’s styles don’t change much. Lapels may widen and narrow. Jacket lengths dip and rise. But no one is expecting us to show up in something cutting-edge like Ryan Gosling wore in Barbie. That would just be silly. Surely, I could wear the same suit I’ve owned since Noah unloaded the ark. But would it still fit? Why not? I work out. I eat right. It’s possible.

Trust Me. It’s Not Possible.

In just a few short years, my suit has shrunk. Not the jacket. That still fits perfectly. My arms aren’t any longer. Surprising, considering that I like to hang on a chin-up bar at the gym (it relieves tightness in my shoulders). As for the pants, well, just between us, my dry cleaner is lucky I never sued. The pants have lost at least an inch around the circumference. And yes, I could close them (barely). I’d be fine for standing around, but what if I wanted to sit down? I’m not sure I could do it. And god forbid the top button popped off. I might severely injure someone in the direct line of fire.

Cookies, Cake, and Candy. Yum.

Let’s face it. The years of Covid have been tough on the old waistline. Yes, I admit to the occasional slice of cake. And yes, I’m a sucker for Cadbury’s Fruit & Nut chocolate bar. Doesn’t the fruit make it a healthier choice? And how could I pass on Whole Foods chocolate chip cookies?  Oh, who am I kidding? Anyone’s chocolate chip cookies are good. Even the bad ones.

Off to the Tailor.

I just wish I didn’t have to see the look on the tailor’s face when he adjusts the waistline. Maybe I’m projecting, but I think he’ll be genuinely disappointed in me. Like I forgot to share all my tasty treats with him. I just hope he leaves me enough room to devour the box of Valentine’s candy still sitting in the closet. I’m partial to Sees. But then, I’d never turn down Ghiradelli. Heck, who am I kidding? If it’s chocolate, I’m always willing to give it a taste. And if you mix it with peanut butter, I might even taste it twice!

And Now for Something a Little Extra!

My new novel Friends for A Season is on schedule for a late 2024 release date. It’s an intergenerational story between an older woman and a college student, each struggling to cope with life’s challenges. In the meantime, if you haven’t had a chance to check out my debut novel, The Intersect, here are two free sample chapters from the ebook. Grab it here. And have a great February!